Feeling a bit better today!

Ok, so I decided to post a belly pic! Granted you can't see much of anything, but I want to document it all. Here is a picture at 3 weeks 3 days, only a week after conception. I thought I was getting Matt to take a picture of my newly forming abs, but now I guess it can double as an early pregnancy picture! Here is my four week belly picture at 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Still not much of anything but seeing as the baby is the size of a pin head, I wouldn't expect to see much. I do have a little chub coming back, but I am going to consider it due to the fact that I stopped dieting and not from a baby.

So I still can't believe I am pregnant. I read in a little pregnancy book that men have about 500 million sperm per ejaculation and only approximately 100-200 actually reach the egg. If that is the case than I guess only one sperm reached my egg because I must have gotten pregnant from either precum or he didn't pull out all the way in enough time and there was a little bit left. Either way, it is a fluke that I got pregnant, but then when I look back, it was a fluke that Amaris got sick to begin with so I am thinking someone upstairs helped me get pregnant, because any other explanation still leaves me bewildered. Okay, look at it this way, there is a 1 in 5 chance of getting pregnant each month, when someone is trying, so what are the odds of a withdrawal baby??

On another note, I saw the movie Hairspray tonite. I actually liked it!! I have always been a fan of musicals and seeing John Travolta in a dress and fat suit was just the cherry on top! I can't believe I used to like him back when I was a wee one, but I have to admit, he was a hunk back in his Grease days and the movie Phenomenon does make me cry. I guess I will always have a soft spot for the JT, even if he is a scientologist ; )

I also talked to Matt today. I think he is going to actively try to make some changes in his life. I basically told him that I was not going to raise our child in an environment in which I don't feel that he/she is safe and that if he doesn't get on the ball than I will move out and do this alone. I have already experienced the pain associated with losing a child and I will not subject myself to worrying whether or not he will be safe to have a baby around. On another note, he was invited to a party tonite and he didn't go, so that's a plus. He also has softball tomorrow so I may go and watch. I like his softball buddies, they are all from AA and sober, so they are a good influence on him and hopefully Matt will realize that alcohol does nothing positive for him and he will return to a sober lifestyle. I guess it is a wait and see.