First time blogging!

So this is my first time blogging but thought it would be wonderful to have as a memento of this pregnancy. Last time around I was cheated in so many ways and this time I want to have things down on type so that I can read it and reread it as my child grows and on the inside I will be smiling as I recover those lost memories that have faded over time.

I guess I should give a quick recap of what has happened so far this week. On Monday I found out I was pregnant! BIG SURPRISE! I was having some funny pelvic pain and thought it was a cyst, but I wanted to rule out pregnancy before I called my doctor. It is obvious to state that I did not see that one coming and though I am scared and in shock, I am still excited on the inside. Not too excited, yet, but it's growing. It just doesn't feel real yet. I don't have too many symptoms yet so it is still hard to believe. I know that over time things will get better, but it is hard to ignore the fears that there may be a repeat of last year. I have decided though to leave it in God's hands. I can do all I can to ensure a healthy pregnancy but at the end of the day I know it is ultimately out of my control.

On Tuesday the pelvic pain got worst and I was also getting some yucky nausea. I was seen in the ER and though the ultrasound did not show signs of a pregnancy, my hcg was at 191 and my cervix was closed. Dr. M wanted me to get a repeat beta hcg to watch it double. He thought it was low but I think he read the chart wrong because my level is within the normal range for how far along I was (14 dpo on Tuesday) and the numbers vary so much that it isn't the numbere that is important but the amount of time it takes to double. I also called my OB and have an appointment on August 15, where I will also get an ultrasound! How exciting!

On Wednesday the fatigue started to kick in. My sense of smell is also slightly heightened as well. We went to the Giant and I could smell the bakery and cinnamon sugar before I was even through the double doors. Other than that, work was pretty uneventful.

Today, Thursday, I got my second beta hcg and I will get the results tomorrow. I was really tired today as well. I guess that is my body saying "yes this baby is growing, yes I am doing my job!"

On another note, telling our parents was certainly fun! My dad seems to be the most understanding of the three. I think that after a few weeks they will be better with it. It is just scary to think another baby is coming after all the tragic events with Amaris, but I just know she had a hand in this. I really think she did pick her little brother or sister and helped make mommy pregnant as a present from her on her birthday. My little girl is so selfless, giving gifts on her own birthday. Oh how I miss her, but I do know that I will be able to see her in this baby and know that this baby will always be a part of her and that brings me comfort. I just hope they learn to deal with it sooner than later because we were going to raise a child in the first place and the should understand that this is our family and we will handle it.

Well I guess that is all for now! Only one more day until the five day weekend. We are going to start cleaning out the basement sooner than later while I am still lean and fit enough to do so.